


a pause in time

by softlywon



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Lots of it, M/M, Mutual Pining, Single Father Yoo Kihyun, Slow Burn, also Single and Reckless Young Adult Lee Hoseok, does this have a plot???? in my mind it does but i’m the author so idk, i said fluff but also some Angst???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-07-29 17:51:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20086303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softlywon/pseuds/softlywon
Summary: it seems like a dangerous thing to be so close to kihyun, hoseok thinks, as if he could do something ridiculous as whispering i love you.





	a pause in time

**Author's Note:**

> barely hit the 1k mark with this one, please give it love. took inspo from larry and polly in orange is the black xoxo
> 
> special thanks go to charlie for motivating me to get to writing in the same time as him. 
> 
> and to annie who absolutely loves the single parent kihyun trope <3

he rings the doorbell and waits. waits in front of the apartment door holding take out food and alcohol, probably not the best things to have around a two months old baby but he’s hoseok and he doesn’t actually know better than this. the door opens to reveal a disheveled looking best friend, messy hair and tired eyes. the baby cradled close in kihyun’s arms. he smiles and lets the man inside. 

as soon as the door closes behind hoseok, the groceries are being left on the floor and replaced by a surprisingly quiet baby. he looks to kihyun, who is already stripping off his clothes in favor of hopping in the shower as soon as possible. “don’t look at me like you’ve never seen me naked before”, he says. “do you know how to change diapers?” he asks, not waiting for an answer, disappearing behind the bathroom door.

he turns to the baby in his arms and sighs. he’s adorable in a way that reminds him of kihyun. he’s got his almond shaped eyes, fox like even. and his full, rounded cheeks, that somehow look even softer than his dad’s. if that’s imaginable. and when hoseok’s talking, his baby voice coming through without notice, the infant’s face lights up, in the same way kihyun’s does. his eyes becoming lovely half moons, his small feet kicking lively, like when a flustered kihyun punches his arm. endearingly and gently. 

and hoseok can count many moles too, just like on kihyun. he knows how he makes sure to kiss every single one of his baby’s moles when preparing him for sleep. and hoseok does so too. tickling the baby some, wanting to hear that bubbly, airy laugh that he gets from his father.  _ addicting _ . 

kihyun is out of the shower in a minute and walks to his baby’s room. he sees hoseok talking lovingly to the newborn while looking for fresh clothes to change him into. he nuzzles the baby and kisses both of his small hands. it’s a lovely sight, kihyun thinks, leans on the door frame and silently smiles. he could get used to this. 

kihyun wouldn’t change anything about this. about  _ now _ . maybe a few years back he would’ve. maybe when he discovered his ex-girlfriend was pregnant, he wished it wasn’t his. maybe when he discovered he was the father, he considered abortion. maybe when he discovered his girlfriend was a lesbian and didn’t want anything to do with the baby anymore, he thought of foster care. but he’s thankful he didn’t go through with any of it. he’s thankful for himself.

but he’s also thankful for hoseok. his best friend, hoseok. maybe he is a reckless young adult, maybe they both are. or  _ used to be _ , until one of them wasn’t anymore. but hoseok has always been there for him. has always tried. he still doesn’t understand the whole parenthood thing. but he reads the books, he gets used to watching children’s’ programs and doesn’t mind getting his shirt dirty of baby food. he helps kihyun whenever he can. he’s always here when he’s needed, either for emotional support or with an extra hand. and for that kihyun will forever be grateful. because he knows he will never leave.

hoseok finds out he’s better at changing diapers than he’d give himself credit for, as kihyun says. “i can’t really tell if he’s breathing on here. does he look dead to you?” he asks, checking the baby monitor. hoseok jokingly responds with a  _ yes _ before kihyun punches him in the arm to change his response. “no, he’s asleep. he is blissfully asleep.” 

kihyun looks up at him, smiling, so bright and so child like, leaning his head on hoseok’s shoulder. both of them laying on the couch, the baby long asleep in his room. it seems like a dangerous thing to be so close to kihyun, hoseok thinks, as if he could do something ridiculous as whispering  _ i love you. i love you different and good and maybe more than i should and i wonder how you feel about me.  _ it’s a weird moment. a kind of pause in time for hoseok to wonder  _ what if _ .

kihyun presses play first. “hoseokkie?” gentle voice, words softly-spoken. it slips smoothly over hoseok’s skin and hugs his lonely fingers. it feels nice when kihyun calls him like that. sometimes he likes to pretend there’s something more intimate in the roundness of the vowels, something unspoken he doesn’t reserve for other people. but he only pretends. 

hoseok feels lonely sometimes. not alone, he never feels the weight of that hoovering grey cloud, even on the bad days. but sometimes he wonders about things that make his cheeks burn and his fingers ache and his heart soar and then fall hard on the cold concrete of reality. he wonders how should it feel to have a hand warm his when it’s too hard to fall asleep, how it should feel to have his lips kissed and more. 

and it’s always kihyun he wonders about, always kihyun on his mind and lost in the maze of his imagination. 

so he speaks up. “i like playing house with you.” and kihyun smiles. for a second. “i don’t think i’ll ever have that.” hoseok adds, making the younger punch him again, telling him to  _ shut up! _

through a sigh hoseok lastly says “i don’t wanna go home.” to which they both agree.“i don’t want you to. you’re saving my life and my sanity.” they lock eyes. “plus, you change diapers, and i can pay you with leftover Jamaican food.” he adds and smiles again. they both do. 

kihyun kisses his cheek and settles down under the arm draped over his shoulder, hugging hoseok’s waist. he plays with his other hand, he admires every line and every calloused bump, interlocks their fingers and admires his own smaller one, enveloped by the man’s bigger hand. “stay the night.” he whispers. maybe only to himself. but hoseok hears it too. it’s not a question nor a demand. it’s just an option, being put out in the world for him to either accept or decline. 

  
and hoseok runs his fingers through kihyun’s fading grape colored hair, ever so soft and fluffy, seemingly melting against his skin. he’d like to remain like this for eternity. until the end of time. just the two of them together. he kisses the top of his head and brings kihyun closer to him. he doesn’t need to vocalise his response for kihyun to understand. hoseok thinks he may never have a family of his own, but ___this_ ,  _ here _ , comes to a close second option he’s really happy with. 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading !!
> 
> twitter: @soekwrld  
cc: @soekwrld


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